“Marriage customs bring together two people from different lineages and place them under a common roof. By definition, marriage is a joining of unlike elements. Even when the bond is strong, a seam both connects and divides husband, wife and the web of in-laws they bring to the table. A couple\u2019s biological offspring really are a blend, but the rest of the family is patched together.”\u00a0 – Ellen Lupton, “In Praise of the Broken Home”, New York Times, August 2, 2010<\/strong><\/div>\n\u00a0\u00a0 Imagine, that in addition to joining the “unlike elements” under a common roof and then blending the family through the birth of several children, this blended family now emigrates to the United States from a country like India, Uzbekistan or Japan and settles in the County of Queens, City and State of New York.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n
\n<\/strong><\/div>\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 To complicate matters, the older husband has a hard time mastering the language and his younger wife is able to go to school, get a job and succeed financially.\u00a0 “Over there” he was an important man, who provided for his family, but “over here” life is different.\u00a0 As his wife works and becomes more independent, he begins to feel worthless, while his children become Americanized and “disrespectful.”\u00a0 Sounds familiar?<\/strong><\/div>\n
\n<\/strong><\/div>\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Unfortunately, such is the plight of many families with strong traditional ties who “uproot” themselves and move to a new country.\u00a0 The rift between parents and children and husbands and wives widens and the extended family members seem unable to comprehend that sometimes adjustments must be made. “In the old country people did not divorce, the husband managed the money and the wife managed the household.\u00a0 The children knew ‘their place’ “.<\/strong><\/div>\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 One can only imagine the complexity of emotional and cultural issues that such a family must experience if the couple faces a divorce or a separation.\u00a0\u00a0 However, divorces happen more and more often and have become a regular fact of life in such courts as Queens County Supreme Court in New York City.\u00a0 Queens County is the most multi-cultural county in New York State. It brings together and “blends” hundreds of nationalities into a flavorful stew of small neighborhoods, which usually peacefully interact with each other. However, when the family dispute overtakes them, many members of the extended family find fault with the national original of the other party: ” I told him not to marry a girl from ____ city, they don’t make good wives”.. While everyone is looking for a unique reason why a divorce is inevitable, in reality it is often the unfortunate consequence of too much “breaking” and not enough “blending” in a family of recent immigrants.<\/strong><\/div>\n
\n<\/strong><\/div>\n\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 In any event, it is imperative to find a culturally sensitive solution for the separating couple and their family, – the type of a solution that would work as they struggle to preserve their national identity and, at the same time, adjust to their new American way of life in a positive way.<\/strong><\/div>\n[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column_inner][\/et_pb_row_inner][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_4″][et_pb_sidebar admin_label=”Sidebar” orientation=”left” area=”sidebar-1″ background_layout=”light” remove_border=”on” body_line_height=”1em”] [\/et_pb_sidebar][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section admin_label=”Section” fullwidth=”off” specialty=”off” transparent_background=”off” background_color=”rgba(224,43,32,0)” allow_player_pause=”off” inner_shadow=”off” parallax=”off” parallax_method=”off” padding_mobile=”off” make_fullwidth=”off” use_custom_width=”off” width_unit=”on” make_equal=”off” use_custom_gutter=”off”][et_pb_row 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Marriage customs bring together two people from different lineages and place them under a common roof. By<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"
\"Marriage customs bring together two people from different lineages and place them under a common roof. By definition, marriage is a joining of unlike elements. Even when the bond is strong, a seam both connects and divides husband, wife and the web of in-laws they bring to the table. A couple\u2019s biological offspring really are a blend, but the rest of the family is patched together.\"\u00a0 - Ellen Lupton, \"In Praise of the Broken Home\", New York Times, August 2, 2010<\/strong><\/div>\u00a0\u00a0 Imagine, that in addition to joining the \"unlike elements\" under a common roof and then blending the family through the birth of several children, this blended family now emigrates to the United States from a country like India, Uzbekistan or Japan and settles in the County of Queens, City and State of New York.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>
<\/strong><\/div>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 To complicate matters, the older husband has a hard time mastering the language and his younger wife is able to go to school, get a job and succeed financially.\u00a0 \"Over there\" he was an important man, who provided for his family, but \"over here\" life is different.\u00a0 As his wife works and becomes more independent, he begins to feel worthless, while his children become Americanized and \"disrespectful.\"\u00a0 Sounds familiar?<\/strong><\/div>
<\/strong><\/div>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Unfortunately, such is the plight of many families with strong traditional ties who \"uproot\" themselves and move to a new country.\u00a0 The rift between parents and children and husbands and wives widens and the extended family members seem unable to comprehend that sometimes adjustments must be made. \"In the old country people did not divorce, the husband managed the money and the wife managed the household.\u00a0 The children knew 'their place' \".<\/strong><\/div>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 One can only imagine the complexity of emotional and cultural issues that such a family must experience if the couple faces a divorce or a separation.\u00a0\u00a0 However, divorces happen more and more often and have become a regular fact of life in such courts as Queens County Supreme Court in New York City.\u00a0 Queens County is the most multi-cultural county in New York State. It brings together and \"blends\" hundreds of nationalities into a flavorful stew of small neighborhoods, which usually peacefully interact with each other. However, when the family dispute overtakes them, many members of the extended family find fault with the national original of the other party: \" I told him not to marry a girl from ____ city, they don't make good wives\".. While everyone is looking for a unique reason why a divorce is inevitable, in reality it is often the unfortunate consequence of too much \"breaking\" and not enough \"blending\" in a family of recent immigrants.<\/strong><\/div>
<\/strong><\/div>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 In any event, it is imperative to find a culturally sensitive solution for the separating couple and their family, - the type of a solution that would work as they struggle to preserve their national identity and, at the same time, adjust to their new American way of life in a positive way.<\/strong><\/div>","_et_gb_content_width":"","_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,21,20,11,7,5,10,15,19,17,18,13,14,16,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-131","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-child-support","category-children","category-collaborative-law","category-custody","category-divorce","category-divorce-mediation","category-domestic-violence","category-economy","category-family","category-family-law","category-immigrants","category-new-york","category-parenting-plan","category-queens","category-separation"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodlawfirm.com\/attorney\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/131","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodlawfirm.com\/attorney\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodlawfirm.com\/attorney\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodlawfirm.com\/attorney\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodlawfirm.com\/attorney\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=131"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodlawfirm.com\/attorney\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/131\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24803,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodlawfirm.com\/attorney\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/131\/revisions\/24803"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodlawfirm.com\/attorney\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=131"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodlawfirm.com\/attorney\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=131"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodlawfirm.com\/attorney\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=131"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}